TM #259 - "I don't understand"

[nerdherdchuck]

I don't understand why our father left us. It's been eleven years, but I still don't know why. Or why he stopped communicating with us. I mean...at least we'd hear from him on Christmas and our birthdays but...then...nothing.

It took me a long time to cope with that. To stop blaming myself.

At least I have a couple good memories of him. I mean, he did try to teach me to cook once. Granted, he really couldn't, but the fact he tried was nice. And the day he gave me his suit. Again, a nice gesture since I really didn't have anything like that that fit me then. I actually still have that suit too.

And despite all the fact he walked out on us, I still would like to see him again. Ellie said she hoped someday our father would walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. Well, now that she's engaged, I'm going to try to find him.

She had no special plans for her big day except for that. I'm going to try to make that dream come true for her.

I dunno how exactly. All I have is an old birthday card with a phone number scribbled in it that's been since disconnected. But the area code of the number is Las Vegas. Wonder if he's still in that area...

Muse: Chuck Bartowski
Fandom: Chuck
Word Count: 226

Comments

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

I thought talking to my father about leaving my mom and I would help me understand but it only made me dislike him even more.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I dunno what will happen when I meet my father again...if I ever do. But depending on what happened to him, I may be able to forgive him.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

In general it would be good for you to...if you can. Is he touchy subject for you?

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Yes and no. I spent years in therapy trying to make sense of him leaving.

But oddly enough, Jill is a touchier subject than my dad is.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

If I may ask, who is Jill?

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

My ex girlfriend.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

Sorry, man.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

It's okay.

She's gone from my life. That's the important thing.