TM #259 - "I don't understand"

[nerdherdchuck]

I don't understand why our father left us. It's been eleven years, but I still don't know why. Or why he stopped communicating with us. I mean...at least we'd hear from him on Christmas and our birthdays but...then...nothing.

It took me a long time to cope with that. To stop blaming myself.

At least I have a couple good memories of him. I mean, he did try to teach me to cook once. Granted, he really couldn't, but the fact he tried was nice. And the day he gave me his suit. Again, a nice gesture since I really didn't have anything like that that fit me then. I actually still have that suit too.

And despite all the fact he walked out on us, I still would like to see him again. Ellie said she hoped someday our father would walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. Well, now that she's engaged, I'm going to try to find him.

She had no special plans for her big day except for that. I'm going to try to make that dream come true for her.

I dunno how exactly. All I have is an old birthday card with a phone number scribbled in it that's been since disconnected. But the area code of the number is Las Vegas. Wonder if he's still in that area...

Muse: Chuck Bartowski
Fandom: Chuck
Word Count: 226

Comments

[lieu-murphy.livejournal.com]

Chuck, if you want some help I could do some calling around for you...

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Y-you'd do that? Thank you Connie. Thank you.

I-I don't have much to go on...just an outdated phone number...

[lieu-murphy.livejournal.com]

Hey, I know what it's like... to wonder about a parent. And I'm very good at tracking people down.

I'll take that and see if anyone I know in Las Vegas PD can give me anything.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

*nods in understanding* Yeah. And I have no doubt you are.

Thank you. It's been disconnected but...it's 702-555-0142.

[lieu-murphy.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's no problem. I'll get back to you when I find something.

[ooc: Would you want her to find someone or see if the show itself finds something? lol]

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

*smiles a bit* All right, thanks.

ooc: I think at some point Chuck's dad will show up. But the guy hasn't even been named in canon yet. Heh.

We could always go with Connie finding some sort of lead and then we could adjust things once the show gives a definite answer on where his dad is.

[lieu-murphy.livejournal.com]

And, you know, if you ever want to talk about it, I've got an ear open.

[ooc: It's all up to you. I don't mind starting something about this, but if you'd rather wait for canon, that's fine too. I just have a muse with a canceled TV show and no canon to mess with RP, lol.]

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that. I really do. *smiles*

ooc: We could start with maybe having Connie finding something. Maybe not the dad himself, but maybe some sort of lead on him. Like some place he was living at some point or something?

[lieu-murphy.livejournal.com]

Well, it's nice to be appreciated now and again.

[ooc: Trace the number back to a hotel/apartment or a cellphone and either get an address or a list of calls the cellphone made. I can think up a lot that can be done with that.]

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

That it is. And you deserve it.

ooc: That works for me. :)

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

I thought talking to my father about leaving my mom and I would help me understand but it only made me dislike him even more.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I dunno what will happen when I meet my father again...if I ever do. But depending on what happened to him, I may be able to forgive him.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

In general it would be good for you to...if you can. Is he touchy subject for you?

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Yes and no. I spent years in therapy trying to make sense of him leaving.

But oddly enough, Jill is a touchier subject than my dad is.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

If I may ask, who is Jill?

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

My ex girlfriend.

[criminal-issues.livejournal.com]

Sorry, man.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

It's okay.

She's gone from my life. That's the important thing.

[gotbottle]

I'm so sorry about your dad, Chuck. I'm glad you were able to stop blaming yourself eventually. I hope you find him and I hope everything works out.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks Rachel. I don't have much to go on...nor do I know if he still wants to talk to me. But hopefully I can find him again and maybe, just maybe...we can work things out...

I really want him to be at Ellie's wedding though.

[gotbottle]

I think it's still worth trying. I know finding my brother again made a world of difference, for me. And even if things don't work out? At least you tried, you know? At least you won't always have that lingering "What if...?" hanging over your head.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you got the chance to find your brother. *smiles*

That's very true. I guess we'll see how things turn out.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

*Puts his hand on Chuck's shoulder.* I cannot understand why he would do that, either. Both you and Ellie are wonderful people. It is a mystery.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

He just stopped all communication with us. I dunno...if maybe he stopped because he wanted to or something bad happened to him, but...yeah.

I wish he didn't leave us though. Quirky as he was, he's still my father.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

That is very true. It is hard to lose your parent, especially when you are young and he is the only one. At least I had my father until last year.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I wish we didn't have to lose our parents at all.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

Agreed. But there will be some time when our children will say the same.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

*nods sadly*

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

It is the reason that we need to appreciate the ones we love always. You never know when it will happen.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Too true. *sighs*

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

At least you still have Ellie. And with her and Awesome getting married, you might have nieces and nephews soon.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

*perks up*

True, I still have her.

Well, I dunno about having nieces and/or nephews in the near future. Awesome's mom kinda brought that up and Ellie looked a bit embarrassed. She felt his mom was rushing things way too much.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

Do they want children? Perhaps not now, but in the future?

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

I never heard them discuss that too too much but they seem to in the future.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

They will have beautiful children. They will probably also be athletes if their father has any say.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

*grins* I wouldn't doubt it.

Though maybe one of them will be more like Ellie and like to cook and stuff more than want to be an athlete.

[powered-otaku.livejournal.com]

That would be nice. Children should reflect something of both parents. Perhaps they will be athletes who can cook.

[nerdherdchuck.livejournal.com]

Perhaps so. *nods*